One aspect of the sexual experience between loving married adults involves a kind of bond or emotional connection that we call oneness. In that experience, we share a love for one another surrounded by safety, mutual consent and mutual adoration.
By focusing on “oneness” as one aspect of how we bring sensual energy and joy into marriage and the bedroom, we end up with the capacity to create and enjoy highly charged, erotic experiences with our mate. The act of surrender and closeness, helps create this kind of sexual energy.
Furthermore, the experience of oneness can be deliberately enhanced and can also help develop a sense of the erotic side of the sex act. Yes, oneness can actually enhance the experience of arousal, of becoming excited with passion and deep sexual “wanting” of the other. Much like the multi-colored fireworks on the Fourth of July, sex between two married lovers and soul-mates is meant to be explosive and powerful.
We want to take a look at 5 different elements of “oneness” that we can incorporate into our marriage bond, “eroticism enhancers” forming crucial building blocks of an exciting, sexy life together. Passion at it best. These help us understand the experience of oneness.
- Gaze. Both in and out of the bedroom, we have the unique opportunity to gaze into each other’s eyes. During the act of sex, this can become an especially intimate experience. Sometimes intimidating. Choosing to look into each other’s eyes intermittently during sexual contact can add to our experience of oneness and enhance the closeness we feel for our spouse.
- Breathing Together. As sexual excitement builds during sex, we can enhance the experience by noticing our breathing together as passion grows. We all breathe in and breathe out. But when this breathing is deliberately focused on during growing passion, watching our lover be swept away by our presence, touch and care, the result can be explosive, like fireworks.
- Kiss. One of the most intimate acts in and out of the bedroom involves kissing. Learning to kiss “passionately” can enhance and grow our energy with one another. When a couple enjoys kissing passionately outside of the bedroom as well, it is a good barometer that intimacy is really alive.
- Holding or Touching Without Thought: The pleasure that comes from touch cannot be overstated. We encourage couples to practice holding and touching without thought or intent, without thinking about what will happen later. This can be a wonderful experience when we focus only on the sensations and experiences that come from physical contact.
- Excitement: Couples who learn how to bring passion and energy into the bedroom, end up bringing this aliveness into all areas of their marriage. A focus on sexual pleasure, therefore, can be helpful and even instrumental in reminding couples of the need for excitement in all areas of their lives.
We encourage couples to actually focus on how they individually bring energy into life itself, into their key relationships and of course, into their marriage. This emphasis reminds us that life is meant to have energy. Even spiritually, we are meant to have a life with meaning and momentum. Much like fireworks on the 4th of July.
Doug and Leslie Gustafson are Authors of the new book called Amazing Intimacy: Create a Spectacular Marriage In and Out of the Bedroom. This book is different from other books on the market because it covers everything a married couple needs to know about building exciting romance, sexual passion and true love. It helps people move from inaction to action – from an OK marriage to an amazing one. Amazing Intimacy can be purchased on Amazon.com.http://www.amazon.com/Amazing-Intimacy-Spectacular-Marriage-Bedroom/dp/0989070042/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1367853391&sr=1-1&keywords=amazing+intimacy