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The Crucible of Marriage – Are You Good For One Another?

We see marriage as a crucible where you, as two lovers, come together to refine, grow, cherish and inspire one another.  Where the capacity to move each other to become more than you are now – in so many ways – defines the synergy you create as lovers, partners.

So, in your marriage, are you good for one another?  Are you a catalyst to the success, happiness and contentment of your lover?  Do you seek out ways to rock each other’s world, to let your partner know their well-being means everything to you?  That you hope to be the source of smiles, hope and positivity in their life?  To the extent we value and invest in the joy and life of our partner, we show the highest love – a love that seeks to bless our mate and honors their heart and spirit.

How do we become lovers who center our efforts on the person we love, not just our own wants and needs?  How can we be strategic in our desire to move our partner’s world to help them grow and reach their potential for joy, success and peace?  What makes us a “good for our mate” kind of guy or gal?  Here are some thoughts.

Reflect regularly on your lover’s uniqueness and find ways to let them know you see and cherish the novelty of their spirit, personality and mind.  Develop an inner spirit of fondness for their individual qualities, even if they are quirky or sometimes rub you the wrong way.

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Addiction & Recovery – 5 Steps in Getting to the Next Level

“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.“ Oscar Wilde I continue to be intrigued by how men and women recover from addiction – chemical, sexual and even problems with food. I wonder how they do it – move forward, fashion a new life, get past old, destructive

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Sex In A Busy Life – The Common Story of Dave and Patricia

Healthy and vibrant sexuality is composed of many moving parts. Learning how to bring sensuality into the bedroom, for example is one element. Learning how to be close and bonded outside the bedroom is another. Both of these are critical dimensions that make sex work. Great sex, that is! Remember, that we have an amazing

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Do I Really Have a New Heart?

More on the Surgery of the Heart I’m approaching two years since open heart surgery.  December 21st and only a handful of days before my 60Th birthday.  As I look back over the past 2 years, I am still in awe of what the surgeons have accomplished.  After all, I’m still alive. Friends and family

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The Tale of Two Rooms

The Uncommon Man I continue to be intrigued by men who seem to grasp what they stand for.  I mean really understand their deepest beliefs and hold on to them with passion and conviction and actually live a life that mirrors their true center. Many of us have observed lately Tim Tebow, quarterback for the

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Surgery of the Heart

A Reflection on the Life I’ve Been Given What a year.  Last year, this time, I nearly died – or at least, was about to. As I reflect on my recent heart surgery, here at Christmas time a year ago, I am struck by so many thoughts and feelings  that I don’t know where to

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Knowing Our Center – Living Our Core

“There is a point in every race when a rider encounters his real opponent and understands that it’s himself.” –Lance Armstrong Are you living out a life with passion, chosen by wisdom, defined from your deepest values and beliefs?  Is your life a clear reflection of your integrity, all you stand for, and the difference

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Choice & Sexual Addiction

Ken, 38 years old, arrived late for his first appointment – but he nearly didn’t make it at all.  Arriving from a business trip, the pressing question on his mind centered on whether he could make it to my office from the airport without hiring an escort.  This particular day, Ken succeeded.  He described his

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Some Ideas on Creating Intimacy

Men and Intimacy I define intimacy as all the “unique and ongoing ways we express love to our partner that keep us close, connected and our love growing – without losing our individuality.” Intimacy means we embrace attitudes and beliefs that incorporate the heart, that we possess skill in our capacity to love, that we

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The Power of a Man’s Mind and Will

“There may be a thousand little choices in a day. All of them count.”     Shad Helmstetter The power of a man’s mind and will – to choose and to act on those choices! The mind brings shape and order to chaos. With it, we imagine new beginnings, decide how to love and plan how

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