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What To Do When the Beauty of Marriage Has Turned Ugly

Marriage is meant to shine. To be the origin of unique passion and aliveness between two lovers and soul-mates. Where individuality is honored and rich togetherness is cultivated. So often this fails to happen and couples eventually turn the corner where hurt, misunderstandings and wounds abound. Clearly the exception to God’s design for synergy and joy between two people who inspire one another.

Too many couples who experience marital struggles have fallen well below this experience. And some have sunk into challenges that have become destructive and harmful to the spirit and soul – of both! Not just poor communication or the usual suspects such as disagreement over finances, in-laws, etc. More tragic – problems honoring one another as unique human beings, who need to feel secure, loved and even cherished in the bonds of marriage.

This can happen for many reasons. Needs go unmet over time, attention to growing the marriage doesn’t take place and the thought of rocking one another’s world fades into a distant memory – often completely forgotten. When hurt and wounded, it gets easier to withhold love, to strike back and attack emotionally. Sometimes affairs grow from this neglected soil and add to the challenges of finding solutions – and moving ahead as lovers united as one.

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The Crucible of Marriage – Are You Good For One Another?

We see marriage as a crucible where you, as two lovers, come together to refine, grow, cherish and inspire one another.  Where the capacity to move each other to become more than you are now – in so many ways – defines the synergy you create as lovers, partners. So, in your marriage, are you

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Addiction & Recovery – 5 Steps in Getting to the Next Level

“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.“ Oscar Wilde I continue to be intrigued by how men and women recover from addiction – chemical, sexual and even problems with food. I wonder how they do it – move forward, fashion a new life, get past old, destructive

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Sex In A Busy Life – The Common Story of Dave and Patricia

Healthy and vibrant sexuality is composed of many moving parts. Learning how to bring sensuality into the bedroom, for example is one element. Learning how to be close and bonded outside the bedroom is another. Both of these are critical dimensions that make sex work. Great sex, that is! Remember, that we have an amazing

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Do I Really Have a New Heart?

More on the Surgery of the Heart I’m approaching two years since open heart surgery.  December 21st and only a handful of days before my 60Th birthday.  As I look back over the past 2 years, I am still in awe of what the surgeons have accomplished.  After all, I’m still alive. Friends and family

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The Tale of Two Rooms

The Uncommon Man I continue to be intrigued by men who seem to grasp what they stand for.  I mean really understand their deepest beliefs and hold on to them with passion and conviction and actually live a life that mirrors their true center. Many of us have observed lately Tim Tebow, quarterback for the

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Surgery of the Heart

A Reflection on the Life I’ve Been Given What a year.  Last year, this time, I nearly died – or at least, was about to. As I reflect on my recent heart surgery, here at Christmas time a year ago, I am struck by so many thoughts and feelings  that I don’t know where to

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Knowing Our Center – Living Our Core

“There is a point in every race when a rider encounters his real opponent and understands that it’s himself.” –Lance Armstrong Are you living out a life with passion, chosen by wisdom, defined from your deepest values and beliefs?  Is your life a clear reflection of your integrity, all you stand for, and the difference

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Choice & Sexual Addiction

Ken, 38 years old, arrived late for his first appointment – but he nearly didn’t make it at all.  Arriving from a business trip, the pressing question on his mind centered on whether he could make it to my office from the airport without hiring an escort.  This particular day, Ken succeeded.  He described his

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Some Ideas on Creating Intimacy

Men and Intimacy I define intimacy as all the “unique and ongoing ways we express love to our partner that keep us close, connected and our love growing – without losing our individuality.” Intimacy means we embrace attitudes and beliefs that incorporate the heart, that we possess skill in our capacity to love, that we

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